It is after one am. I can't sleep. I had a baby boy via c-section at 5:28pm...yep not quite eight hours ago. I am so tired and I can't sleep. I haven't slept soundly for about month. I have been fighting sleep since around eleven am. The new.baby is sleeping soundly in the nursery. Lee is.sleeping soundly on a cot.next to me. This.could.be one of the few.chances I have for awhile. Pardon all of the extra punctuation. It is the result of fat fingers, no sleep, and a small cellphone screen.
What should I do? So... I am writing to you all. Sorry to make you suffer through my insomnia.
I am not sure what to tell.you. Today went smoothly. Long day of waiting. Over the past few weeks, I have been an emotional wreck. Those of you that know me, know that I have always been prone to tears without much provocation. It got worse while pregnant with my Girl. Even worse after I had her. Even worse when I got pregnant with number two. These past couple of weeks have been a downright sobfest. I just kept mourning the loss of my.little family of three andfear of how that translates to being a family of.four.
So far, so good. Lulu had Uncle Lance there when she woke up from her nap, shebgot to come to the hospital to meet her new.brother, and gets to spend the weekend with a lot of Nanny/Nanaa time. It is probably like a little vacation from me for her. When we come home on Monday is when I think it will get tough. Prayers for a smooth (as possible) transition would be appreciated.
Hmmm. I know this is boring, but I still can't sleep. Ugh. Maybe it is the muted beep/ speak of an iv inches from my head. Maybe the iv port itself poking into my wrist. Maybe it is the blood clot preventing calf squeezers. Maybe it is the catheter. Maybe the large diaperish thing I have under my gown. Maybe it is the fact that my new cellphone has a data (aka time wasting enabling) plan. Maybe it is that I haven't eaten for thirty-plus hours. You pick.
So...here,s to hoping that you won't have to endure another post of a new mom's ramblings. Sorry to subject you to this, but thanks for suffering with me.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
I love you. I want to see a picture of your boy. My text inbox is empty. Also, I will pray for sleep tonight and the transition.
Love you tons! I can't wait for a picture. You are a great mama and you will figure out the transition from one to two.
So glad you posted. I can say from experience that you will love reading these thoughts someday. Hope sleep comes soon. He is precious and you are one blessed mama :)
You share those Mama murmurs anytime you need and we will pray!
And we will pray even when you don't...
I always claimed Isaiah 40:11....
"Like a shepherd He will tend His flock,
In His arm He will gather the lambs, And carry them in His bosom;
He will gently lead the nursing ewes."
Blessings to you all,
Sandy
I'm glad to hear your ramblings!! I have a feeling that Lulu is going to make an amazing transition to being a big sister... and you are going to be an amazing mama to BOTH your babies! Congrats again friend, I love you!
It's normal to mourn the loss of "three" as you transition to "four". I gotta tell you, it IS bittersweet. I had no idea you were so close to due!
Pregnancy hormones at the end of pregnancy/beginning of babydom make you feel like a sack of you-know-what. Things will get better, and I know you know that. For now, rest, and CONGRATULATIONS! (hope that didn't make you cry), and enjoy not having to get up to pee (love the catheter).
Post a Comment